The Devil TV

I know - you will think I am crazy. But we own a possessed TV. Let me give you a bit of history about THE TV. We were at an auction last year when this big-screen projection TV went on auction. I was a little spaced, looking at some of the useless junk, when I realized Kevin was bidding on it. It went up and up then BOOM it stopped and guess what? We had the highest bid. We got this huge TV for less than what many little TV's cost. Kevin thought it would go higher and he was bidding pretty much for fun. Fun, fun when we had to get it into the basement. No- it wasn't going into the living room. At first it was really out of focus but Kevin managed to fix that. So it seemed to be working.

I was in the basement grading papers and Kevin asked if I would like a little music. I told him some Christmas music would be nice. He turned on the music channel on the cable and told me to turn the TV down if it got crazy. I had NO IDEA!!!!! I was busy grading and glanced up to notice that there were red white and blue stripes pulsating across the screen. OK - so it is patriotic. I can deal with that. The music was soft and nice - lovely Christmas songs. Then.....
All of a sudden - out of the blue - the TV starts screaming at me. No words - just very, very loud howls and ghoulish sounds. I was shaking, it startled me so much. I grabbed the remote and tried to turn it down. Down and down I pushed the volume but it just got louder and louder. I picked up another remote and tried to turn the TV off. It wouldn't go off (I later found that this was my mistake - the volume problem wasn't though). I jumped up out of my chair and rapidly but with great trepidation moved toward the TV. I could feel wind in my hair and against my skin - coming from the hideous thing. It was still screaming at me and there were other, awful sizzly sounds coming from the back. I found the power button and finally got it off. I was shaking all over and my heart was pounding.

After gathering my wits and courage, I came upstairs to confront Kevin about our possessed TV. He said that, as soon as he could quit laughing he would perform an exorcism. Believe me, it needs it. I would not have been a bit surprised if it hadn't begun spewing green barf. He asked me if I would like a little music. I froze. Surely he wouldn't subject me to that again! Maybe he was trying to get rid of me! But no - he really does love me. He brought down a wonderful CD of Christmas music and put it into the CD player.

I'm afraid for him though. I am afraid I will come home someday to find he has been sucked into the devil TV or it has zapped him from across the room. Nothing about that TV would surprise me. By the way, I know why this TV was on auction and why it went so cheap. People in Ishpeming had certainly heard about the haunted TV!